I absolutely agree with the view that art - even if never seen by others - is still art, and still worthy.
The thing about writing is that very often, those closest to us really are not the ones who need it most. For me personally, writing is for myself first. To get something out cathartically, or figure something out. And then beyond that, if it resonates with someone, or helps someone in any way, that's good too.
But to expect those closest to you to read your stuff and give feedback? You're in for disappointment a lot of the time, in my opinion. You learnt that with those little newspapers at an early age. And that is really just the same story as you'd probably experience now.
So it's better to drop those expectations and realise that having people close to you read your stuff (and maybe even give feedback) is a nice-to-have. It shouldn't be an expectation.
I started writing many years ago, and kept my writing secret from almost everyone closest to me for many years. And only when I got to the point of publishing my first book did I let them know. And the reactions were positive. People were proud - even though I *still* didn't get much feedback from them. Which was fine. Because the work wasn't *for* them. It was for me. And for whoever else the words connected with on a heart level.
What I would say, when it comes to something that you really want a specific person to read, is that you should speak to them *in person* about it first. Let them know, one on one, that you want to get their thoughts on it, and WHY you are sending it to them specifically. Why it's important to you that they read it.
And THEN let them read it. That way, you personalise it for them. You connect with them and make them feel their importance in the whole thing, rather than just sending them something unsolicited and expecting them to read it. People are busy, and attention spans are super short. So, the personal approach will hopefully be effective.
Oh wow, this is great, practical advice! I really appreciate this perspective. And yes I’ve been thinking about that, just because something I’d important to me does not mean it exists vice versa in all my relationships and how that can be true on my end for other things I don’t notice. This post was a way for me to articulate the weirdness of the feeling that strangers may get to access certain parts of me that my close friends don’t, I guess that is part of the process and I just have to focus on why I’m doing this in the first place which is truly still for me. Anyways thank you for taking the time to comment your honest thoughts!
As a composer myself, this really resonated with me! It’s the first time I’m finding someone expressing the same concerns as me. Not feeling understood or seen. I sometimes feel like I would love to see someone have the same connection to my music that I have. Thank you for this!
It is so interesting to hear this resonated with someone who makes music, I guess this is why people say being an artist is a lonely experience. Thank you for reading!!
God I relate to this so very very deeply. Honestly I've been struggling to understand not just a reason for the creation of my art but also the reception and connection I wish to derive from it.
The aesthetic interaction of the art, the artist and the audience is such a daunting thing to think about when I've only recently come to realise that not everyone sees my work the way I do.
My illustration and drawings are a conversation I hold with myself and it's one I am learning to cherish even if no one else joins the discussion. One that should not change for the whims and fancies of people on the internet or even those closest to me.
Thank you for this essay it really made me feel seen :)
‘If I share it with the world with no expectation for anyone to see, and instead, focus on what I am producing for the sake of the craft, then it will never lose value.’
I have struggled with my identity so much because it is 100% tied to what I create and how actively engaged I - and my audience - are. I stopped sharing my art almost a decade ago and this past year, I allowed myself to perform in a spiritual setting. Ultimately, it gave me incredible anxiety at the start. This quote means so much looking back because the anxiety was minimized when I felt a spiritual impact (not sure if it was in myself or in a little girl in the audience who lit up with joy seeing me).
I wouldn’t call myself an elaborate writer, but I’ve documented so much of my own story, experiences, traumas, and perspectives over the last year. So many close individuals are associated with pain and hurt and I feel stuck wanting them to understand me. At the end of the day, everyone’s art is their own. Everyone’s perspective is their own. Art happens when the artist is true to themselves, regardless of the outcome. Like-experiences will be highlighted and honored when your art is truly you.
This line felt like a punch in the gut. I have spent so much time avoiding writing or creating because I fear it will never be seen or understood. thank you for this. i think I'm going to start writing more again
I am so honored by your comment, thank you so much for reading. I hope you can finish those unfinished pieces of writings you have and let go of the weight of it being understood by anyone. Anything you write is inherently valuable simply because it was important enough to you to put it down on paper!
Exactly!! Ultimately that is the goal— beyond myself, for writing to be a tool of worship. I recently heard someone say how Allah swt swore by the pen and how that is for a reason, a purpose for us to reflect on. I love what you said about how that takes off the pressure of posting with a specific schedule. Thank you for reading yumna!!❤️
I appreciate this comment so so much, thank you for taking the time to see me and my words. sometimes it’s hard to just start to admit that something hurts until you put it down on paper.
I absolutely agree with the view that art - even if never seen by others - is still art, and still worthy.
The thing about writing is that very often, those closest to us really are not the ones who need it most. For me personally, writing is for myself first. To get something out cathartically, or figure something out. And then beyond that, if it resonates with someone, or helps someone in any way, that's good too.
But to expect those closest to you to read your stuff and give feedback? You're in for disappointment a lot of the time, in my opinion. You learnt that with those little newspapers at an early age. And that is really just the same story as you'd probably experience now.
So it's better to drop those expectations and realise that having people close to you read your stuff (and maybe even give feedback) is a nice-to-have. It shouldn't be an expectation.
I started writing many years ago, and kept my writing secret from almost everyone closest to me for many years. And only when I got to the point of publishing my first book did I let them know. And the reactions were positive. People were proud - even though I *still* didn't get much feedback from them. Which was fine. Because the work wasn't *for* them. It was for me. And for whoever else the words connected with on a heart level.
What I would say, when it comes to something that you really want a specific person to read, is that you should speak to them *in person* about it first. Let them know, one on one, that you want to get their thoughts on it, and WHY you are sending it to them specifically. Why it's important to you that they read it.
And THEN let them read it. That way, you personalise it for them. You connect with them and make them feel their importance in the whole thing, rather than just sending them something unsolicited and expecting them to read it. People are busy, and attention spans are super short. So, the personal approach will hopefully be effective.
Oh wow, this is great, practical advice! I really appreciate this perspective. And yes I’ve been thinking about that, just because something I’d important to me does not mean it exists vice versa in all my relationships and how that can be true on my end for other things I don’t notice. This post was a way for me to articulate the weirdness of the feeling that strangers may get to access certain parts of me that my close friends don’t, I guess that is part of the process and I just have to focus on why I’m doing this in the first place which is truly still for me. Anyways thank you for taking the time to comment your honest thoughts!
As a composer myself, this really resonated with me! It’s the first time I’m finding someone expressing the same concerns as me. Not feeling understood or seen. I sometimes feel like I would love to see someone have the same connection to my music that I have. Thank you for this!
It is so interesting to hear this resonated with someone who makes music, I guess this is why people say being an artist is a lonely experience. Thank you for reading!!
"I wanted someone to write back."
God I relate to this so very very deeply. Honestly I've been struggling to understand not just a reason for the creation of my art but also the reception and connection I wish to derive from it.
The aesthetic interaction of the art, the artist and the audience is such a daunting thing to think about when I've only recently come to realise that not everyone sees my work the way I do.
My illustration and drawings are a conversation I hold with myself and it's one I am learning to cherish even if no one else joins the discussion. One that should not change for the whims and fancies of people on the internet or even those closest to me.
Thank you for this essay it really made me feel seen :)
Wow. I truly admire your vulnerability on this.
‘If I share it with the world with no expectation for anyone to see, and instead, focus on what I am producing for the sake of the craft, then it will never lose value.’
I have struggled with my identity so much because it is 100% tied to what I create and how actively engaged I - and my audience - are. I stopped sharing my art almost a decade ago and this past year, I allowed myself to perform in a spiritual setting. Ultimately, it gave me incredible anxiety at the start. This quote means so much looking back because the anxiety was minimized when I felt a spiritual impact (not sure if it was in myself or in a little girl in the audience who lit up with joy seeing me).
I wouldn’t call myself an elaborate writer, but I’ve documented so much of my own story, experiences, traumas, and perspectives over the last year. So many close individuals are associated with pain and hurt and I feel stuck wanting them to understand me. At the end of the day, everyone’s art is their own. Everyone’s perspective is their own. Art happens when the artist is true to themselves, regardless of the outcome. Like-experiences will be highlighted and honored when your art is truly you.
Thank you for sharing :)
"If art goes unseen, does it cease to be art?"
This line felt like a punch in the gut. I have spent so much time avoiding writing or creating because I fear it will never be seen or understood. thank you for this. i think I'm going to start writing more again
I am so honored by your comment, thank you so much for reading. I hope you can finish those unfinished pieces of writings you have and let go of the weight of it being understood by anyone. Anything you write is inherently valuable simply because it was important enough to you to put it down on paper!
The ocean vuong quote is crazy powerful
Exactly!! Ultimately that is the goal— beyond myself, for writing to be a tool of worship. I recently heard someone say how Allah swt swore by the pen and how that is for a reason, a purpose for us to reflect on. I love what you said about how that takes off the pressure of posting with a specific schedule. Thank you for reading yumna!!❤️
I appreciate this comment so so much, thank you for taking the time to see me and my words. sometimes it’s hard to just start to admit that something hurts until you put it down on paper.