Things I'm Waiting On.

By the morning sunlight, and the night when it falls still.

an open door

tea that's still brewing

a package in the mail

I’m on my way now to the store 

waiting on a phone call from a friend

someone to sit through the heaviness with 

questions 

before answers 

it's really so simple 

How are you, really?

waiting to not feel forsaken 

waiting to tell someone everything

waiting on an avocado not quite ripe yet.

just one day that feels more normal than the last 

an apology 

apologie(s).

I’ve never allowed myself the luxury of being angry, I wonder what that feels like

I’ve been waiting on and praying for courage. 

the day I feel strength ring stronger than my fears

Permission.

I'd love to be able to give myself permission

I’m waiting on words that I do not yet have 

waiting to ask myself the question 

what is the worst that could happen to me if I spoke the truth? 

---

I'm waiting on the world 

to stop turning its cheek 

to injustice

to let our people live 

Waiting on apathy 

to grow old and tired 

And meet an eventual death 

Waiting on hope. 

In our lifetime

I know that changes lives

No one is stopping me from it. 

Not yesterday, today, nor tomorrow 

I'm waiting to feel ready 

I’m told we will never quite feel ready 

I'm waiting for life 

When does my own life begin?

 24, 25, 30, 35?

I'm waiting to understand God’s plan in all of this 

Waiting 

to no longer wait in a waiting room 

I'll go anywhere else 

Waiting for Asr prayer

 وَٱلۡعَصۡرِ 

To rest assured, the adhaan will come soon. 

إِنَّ ٱلۡإِنسَٰنَ لَفِي خُسۡرٍ 

time is squeezing me by the neck

and is not letting go 

how do I hold urgency and trust in the same hand as the passage of time

  وَٱلۡعَصۡرِ 

I’m waiting for صبر to no longer feel passive for me 

I know sabbar grows patiently in the harsh climate of the desert

I know the aloe plant by her healing properties 

how she can beautify us and heal our wounds

I don’t know about the harshness of the droughts she withstands 

against all odds 

by the will of God 

how she grows to be tall while she waits

how she confuses even the rattlesnakes who live and breathe next to her in the desert 

how she doesn’t wait on anyone to grow 

strong at all odds 

through heat or cold 

in sand or ground

perseverance . 

I’m waiting for the sun to return 

the clouds to part and make way for their predecessor 

leaves that haven't quite turned over just yet. 

a welcoming blast of color 

autumn’s Great Arrival Gate has only just opened her doors

waiting for dinner

It’ll get me through the weeks of waiting

maybe we can stand in line together

arms uncrossed 

side by side 

In no hurry 

a faint smile on our faces

I’ll be here tomorrow.

With references / inspiration by the following:

1.) Audre Lorde’s Questionnaire to Oneself

2.) Surah Asr- 103

3.) And now it’s September, Barbara Crooker

4.) Surah Ad-Duhaa 93

5.) The etymology of the arabic word “sabr”, or صبر, and where the word originates from.